I got saved on Sunday. By this I mean, what I'm sure you think I mean. I let the Lord take control. Sunday was my birthday. I got saved on my birthday. Very cool!
I announced it to everyone at my church. This little detail was why I hadn't done it yet. I don't like standing in front of people and being the center of attention, so I just didn't do it. I let people I don't know control my decision because it was out of my comfort zone. Way out.
But then it hit me; why? Why am I risking hell because I don't want to stand up in front of fellow believers and announce to them that I put all my trust in Him? Do I actually think they'll judge me? And even if they do, so what? Why spend an eternity in hell over opinions that don't matter and aren't right? I won't. So I did it. I told the pastor I wanted to announce it and I did.
I just want everyone to know that all I want is Jesus. More than air, food, or anything really. I'm not sure how it took me this long to realize He was all I was missing. But I have Him now and want to continue building a stronger relationship.
It almost didn't happen.
I told my boyfriend during the sermon and he was unaware all through our relationship that I wasn't saved. Not his fault. I didn't think to mention it and he didn't think to ask. Bad for both parties involved. He said if he had known he wouldn't have even started the relationship. Instant waterworks. I am head over heels in love with that man and that made me instantly start crying. I had to step out of the sanctuary and into the bathroom. You see, the problem here was that I misunderstood what he meant.
My meaning: He thinks now that the whole decision to start the relationship was a huge mistake and now we have to break up because I wasn't already saved.
Actual meaning: He still would have started a relationship with me, just not until I was saved.
He had to take me to the car to tell me this because the church hall was not a good place, what with my crying and all.
Everything is fine now. I have God, God has me and I still have an amazing boyfriend.
I wouldn't change how it all went for anything. The misunderstanding strengthened our relationship and I'm pretty happy now that I did over-react or else I wouldn't know certain things about him.
I'm writing this, one: because I want everyone to know how great God is. If you don't know Him, FIND Him. Do what I did. It's hands down the best choice I ever made. And two: to tell Charles how much I love him.
Babe, you'll honestly never know how much I love you and what you mean to me. I don't want to lose you. Thank you for sticking with me. It means so much to know I have someone as awesome and supportive as you by my side. I love you forever and always.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
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I am so glad, my dear. I think it is too easy to assume that someone is a Christian just because they go to church, etc. I'm sure it wasn't God's will for me to ask you about your faith before this, because He apparently wanted to work in you in His own time and didn't need my help in any way. I think our friendship hasn't been deep enough in years past to facilitate that kind of conversation, and that saddens me. I pray that you and I can have those conversations in the future, if the Lord allows our friendship to grow.
ReplyDeleteI hope this experience HAS drawn you and Charles closer together, as you expressed. I love you and hope this comment will only encourage you, not offend you. <3