You poor thing...

I have an app on my phone that allows people to write something awful that just happened to them. Some are funny, some are not. I just thought I'd share a few with you.


1. Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text message plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired.

2. Today, for Easter my brother and sister both got $200 gifts from my parents. I got a chocolate egg. I'm allergic to chocolate.

3. Today, I tasted the rainbow. By that, I mean, a homeless man hit me in the face with a bag of Skittles for not giving him money.

4. Today, I went to the doctor for a check-up before my Carribean vacation. He informed me I'm overweight for my height and should "eat better, exercise, and lose the excess weight." I just returned from rehab for bulimia a month ago. My vacation was a celebration of overcoming my eating disorder.

5. Today, my mom and I went to Winn-Dixie. I told her I was going to a different aisle. 5 minutes later, I hear my name on the intercom to go to the front of the store. As I go I see my mom crying, she comes and hugs me and tells me she thought I was lost. I'm 22. I had my cell phone and I drove there.

6. Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the test and wrote "OMG."

7. Today, t was Easter and I thought it would be fun to look for Easter eggs with my little brother. My parents told me to take the ones in the higher places that my brother couldn't reach. All of his eggs were filled with candy or money. Each one of mine had a note that said "maybe when you lose weight."

8. Today, my mom had a baby shower. When it was over I walked around cleaning up the trash, when I saw a card sitting on the table with a note to my mom saying "better luck with this one." At the moment, I am an only child, and the card was signed from my grandmother.




....so awful.