It's always a relief when my need to be with him slows down or disappears completely. Unfortunately, it always comes back worse then it was before. I hate that.
A friend of mine recently got married. All I could think was how much I wanted that. Of course, I was very excited for them, but I just wondered why it couldn't come as quickly for me.
I'm really trying to work on it. I'm trying not to pressure or bug him and I'm really trying not to envy those who have taken that step in their relationship. I'm trying to work things out with myself, because I know why I have this feeling and he can't help with that.
I also know that it's going to be very hard in the upcoming months, because of things that I will be reminded of, but if I keep praying and trusting God, He will get me through it. I just need to get through this...
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Melody! God doesn't want you to just "get through this" stage in your life. He wants you to live life more abundantly. He has a PLAN for your life, and He wants you to draw close to Him so He can have an intimate relationship with you. His love for you is so great, and while His love overcomes all our mistakes and shame, we still should desire what He desires, love what He loves, and hate what He hates. when we do that, our desires for the things of this world fade. while they will never go away, they simply aren't as important. they never are, but we just see it differently when our mindset is of this world. so basically, all the things that seem so drastically important to us that are in and of this world will greatly lessen in importance when we surrender ourselves to Him. our lives are no longer our own when we ask the Holy Spirit to come live inside us. our bodies and minds are no longer our own, either. we are giving them up to Him for His transformation. think *outside* the box (that is your--Melody's--way of thinking). His ways are NOT our ways, and His thoughts are not our thoughts. While He *does* have great and wonderful plans for you, you shouldn't assume what they are. even with what's going on right now. for instance, just because something makes you "happy," or makes you feel good, that doesn't mean it's something that Jesus is pleased with.
ReplyDeletei do love you, you should know that by now. but seeing you constantly in a mindset of dread, unhappiness, and with a spirit of anxiety is NOT God's plan over ANYone, especially His beloved children. He loves you, Mel. more than Charles or any other person ever could. and His love is more wonderful than ANYone else's love could be. let Him in and sincerely seek His will for your life like nothing else matters. let go of all that's inhibiting you from making Jesus your first and foremost priority. your first love.
even if that means you need to refocus in areas of your life that seem so so so incredibly important. nothing else matters outside of Jesus in the end. remember that He calls His children to be His own by name! it is not an accident that we become His children. He CALLS us. for a reason!
"Bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the ends of the earth--everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made."
Isaiah 43:6b-7
"This letter is from Paul, chosen by the will of God to be an apostle of Christ Jesus, and from our brother Sosthenes. I am writing to God’s church in Corinth, to you who have been called by God to be His own holy people."
I Corinthians 1:1-2b
"Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God."
Ephesians 4:1
"...it is no shame to suffer for being a Christian. Praise God for the privilege of being called by his name!"
1 Peter 4:16
AaaAAAaaaah i love these verses. It's such a wonderful gift to be called to be His children, Melly. and He DID call you! He's already drawn close to you. He's waiting for you to sincerely draw close to Him. ^__^ walk with Him every day. and read His Word to get guidance, don't just pray.
love you always =)