Forgive Me

Lyrics (Open in a new tab)

So, lately I've been noticing a few things that bring me to why I posted this video.
One, I've noticed how much music effects my mood.
A few months ago I posted a blog about buying Michael Buble's song "Haven't Met You Yet" and wanting to keep it, as I felt it was an okay song. Since then I have deleted most of my unchristian music (I say "most" because there are songs I managed to accidentally skip and keep forgetting to delete them) So out of my 358 songs; an exact number; only about 15 are secular.
I try to surround myself in music created for God, that way I don't get caught up in the worldly things with some of the lyrics you hear on a daily basic with the radio.
I do enjoy listening to secular songs from time to time, but find more and more that I'm not enjoying it as much as I used to.
I used to like "Need You Now" by Lady Antebellum, but lately, I'm just noticing more and more how depressing that song is. "Your Body Is a Wonderland" by John Mayer seems a bit less romantic and just a little perverted.
I like surrounding myself in songs that fill me with the joy of God's love.

Another thing I'm noticing is how, even though I'm filled with happiness from the songs I do listen to, I'm not actually feeling God. Which makes me sad.
I know that you don't have that feeling every single second of every single day and that it can go away from time to time, but I hate that feeling. I just feel alone and I hate that. I'm just asking that you pray for me. I always get that "Oh, my goodness, He's abandoned me" feeling, although I know He'd never do that.

Anyway, this song has been my go-to song because I feel it connects with the two things I've been thinking about lately.
Since I have had a kind of dry spell, it gives me hope that He'll never leave and it's not Him, it's me. I know I need to work on a few things. I need to spend time with Him on a daily basis. I can't just sit here and feel bad for not feeling anything if I haven't called out to Him. I have to pray to Him, call out for Him and let Him know HE hasn't lost ME. This song has really lifted my spirits lately and helped me to understand that I can't expect God to do all the work while I just sit around waiting. He loves me unconditionally, yes, but He can't answer if no one is calling. I'm not someone who lacks knowledge of Christ, I know how to talk to Him and what to say. He knows that and He just wants me to reach out to Him. Well, I'm reaching out and asking for help emotionally and spiritually. I need You and I know I can't do ANY of this without You.