I want to take a moment to talk about what's going on because I'm not good at expressing my feelings in person too well and I'm sure some of you who read this don't even know.

I'm 20. I lost my mom to brain cancer 7 months ago, when I was 19. Not even a year later, I'm losing my dad as well, also to cancer. I'm the kind of person who bottles thing up until it becomes too much, but with everything that's happened recently, I haven't with my dad. I haven't talked about it, but I've cried almost everyday.
I'm afraid of losing him. I'm afraid that when he does pass away, I'll be alone and because of that, I'm pushing marriage on my boyfriend. I hate that. Like a normal person, he wants to wait until we're financially ready. I love him for that. I'm also afraid I'll lose touch with people because maybe I think I'll get depressed when my dad's gone. Watchin him in the hospital, he's so much like Mom was in the end.

I can remember going to movies every Sunday. Eating dinner and renting two movies to watch while I was with him on the weekends. I can look at me and then at him and tell that I got his nose, ears, eyes and mouth.

It's going to be difficult knowing they won't be there when I graduate college. They're not going to get to meet their grandkids or hold them in their first moments of life. I'm thankful, though, that they did see me graduate high school and they did meet my brother's daughter. I'm sad that they'll miss out on the rest of my life, but I know one day I'll see them again. I can't wait for that.