I want to have money without working long, stressful hours to get it.
I want to sit down and feel relaxed.
I want to sleep and feel rested.
I want to sit and think about nothing at all.
I want all the thoughts in my head to just stop, so I can focus on living and not what I have to do next.
I want to just be.
So many things are going in right now and all of it is stressful.
• I have a little over 20 hours next week. My paycheck will barely have 35 hours on it.
• My dad is at home, on Hospice. He may only make it two more weeks.
• I start a new job on Wednesday and I'm really nervous about it.
• A friend is moving in with me for a few months. I hope it works out.
Everytime my boyfriend leaves I get sad and think about how much I want to get married, and then I realize it'll be another year.
To add to it all, the stress isn't just effecting me mentally. It's effecting me physically as well.
I'm sick all day. I get muscle aches and back pain. I can't concentrate. I rarely know what's going on around me. I'm always out of it. I wake up randomly at night. I cry at the most inconvenient moments.
It's getting to me.
I want to get away for awhile and relax. I desperately wish I had a Hawaii trip planned and I could just sleep by the ocean. I need something to run to for a few days.
It's all too much right now.
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Melly. I hope you can get some rest. I wish there was something I can do. Is there something I can do?
ReplyDeleteDon't be too nervous about Wednesday. Saralynn and I will be there to help ease you into it. Deep breath.
I definitely don't want to be a nuisance about getting my futon out, so I'll just say let me know when I might be able to come pick it up. No pressure.
I love you and will be praying for you. In fact, I think I'll text you.
*hugs you and nods to Jo's comment about Wednesday* just follow the manual, and love on the kids. since you're new, no one will ask you to take the lead in anything. no worries.
ReplyDeleteI want to encourage you with these verses:
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."
Matt 11:28
Talk to Jesus and no-holds-barred tell Him all about your anger, hurt, distrust, weariness, desires, etc. That's a step you need to take.
"My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word."
Psalm 119:28
Stay in His Word, don't pull back from it during trying times, love.
I ask you to read Psalm 119, and keep in mind, as the above verse reminds us, that you are not alone in experiencing pain and sorrow. God is not allowing this pain because He is unjust, but you should know that and why He allows pain to happen in any form.
read John 10:27-30 also.
I picked these especially for you, dear, to encourage your heart. :) i love you, and my prayers go to Jesus daily for you.
btw, if you want to talk about why God allows pain in the lives of His children, i'm ready and willing.
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